I guess it’s about time I showed you what I’m working with.

Here’s my Pi in it’s natural habitat:
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And the glory shot. I’ve got a 3 TB HDD in there (mostly full of kung fu movies for watching in Kodi) with a print server for wireless network/internet access (more free USB ports, yay!), with a powered USB hub that sticks out the front of the case. You’ll notice there is a CPU fan, and a massive case fan. It’s super quiet. I’ve also got a power button for the pi and an off switch that safely powers off the Pi, as well as access to the power strip switch through a hole in the top. Everything is mounted in place with screws through the bottom. There are rubber feet on it to protect whatever it sits on.
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It’s not meant to be pretty, purely functional, but it does a great job at that, thanks to everyone’s help here of course.

I’m using wireless Xbox 360 controllers, but my custom dual arcade stick, which is basically just 2 wired Xbox 360 controllers and arcade cabinet parts, also works with it.